As i did the required reading for class this week i cam across something that really stood out to me, and that is what i would like to focus on today. That topic is known as "The Exchange Theory". This is the "you owe me" theory. It implies that because i did something for you, you now must do something for me. However we usually try to always get back more than we give. In my book this is referred to as Cost and Reward. This doesn't always have to be things like money though. Cost be something like time, energy (emotional and intellectual), money, etc. And rewards can be anything that the awardee finds satisfying.
Now....i know what you're thinking. "What a selfish way of thinking!" But we all do this. When we are in a new relationship and we feel that we are always putting in more effort than the other individual then we usually draw back, or pull out of the relationship. But i think there is a misconception on relationships and what they are meant to be.
This quote is one my favorites. It describes exactly how i feel about relationships, and how they should work. So i guess you could say i disagree with the exchange theory. It should never be "you owe me" it should be"i love you so i will do this for you". No strings attached. If both halves give 100%, neither half will be left unsatisfied.
On another note, in my opinion the world has a misconception of happiness, and how it is obtained. The exchange theory leads us to believe that we need to be rewarded for our service in order to be satisfied in life. And i dont agree with that. Dont get me wrong, it is way nice to have someone serve you, and give back after you have served them. But sometimes, for me, the greatest happiness comes from me serving others with no expectations in return.
I live by this quote. And i can testify that it works. I have found the greatest happiness by striving to make others happy. This is how the God has invited us to find happiness, and no theory can convince me otherwise.
Great post. My daughter is in this same class.
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