Family Counsels

Communication. Most people think they are great at communicating when maybe...they really aren't.

Now, don't get me wrong. Some people are good communicators. But for the most part, we all have areas that we could improve in. I did a little research and here are some things i found could be helpful for all of us to do. 

1. Be clear with your concerns or desires.

2. Listen to the other persons side sincerely 

3. Be open-minded

4. Respect other people

5. Be confident

Obviously these things take practice, and they aren't always easy. But they are possible. There is a process whenever we are having a conversation with another person. First the sender things and feels what he wants to get across. Then he encodes it into a message and then sends it through a source of media (verbal, texting, writing, and even body language). Then the receiver Decodes the message and the sends back a response and so on and so forth. 

This process happens in families on a daily basis. Many times messages are decoded and encoded in unclear ways and messages are misinterpreted. There is something families can do to help each other understand one another and help lead them to all be on the same page. That something is Family Counsels.  Family counsels give each family individual chances to speak their mind and for the family to come to a consensus, or a unified decision.  When a family counsel is done well, communication in a family can be improved greatly.

Now you might be wondering how to hold an effective Family counsel, and don't worry, I won't leave you hanging.  There are a few necessary things that go into effective family counsels.

1. Express love to one another

2. Start with a Prayer - invite the spirit

3. Discuss matters - Consensus

4. End with a prayer - confirm that its the Lords will

As we follow these guidelines for family counsels, and as we implement the communication skills mentioned earlier, we will be able to feel greater unity in our families. 

Family Crisis

Family crisis can come in many different forms. It might be death of a loved one. A premature, or special needs baby joins the family. A child or spouse is abused. All of these events can be very difficult and usually life changing. For many of these events we cant predict when they are going to happen, and we also cant prevent most of them from happening either. So what can we do? As humans we like to be able to have control, and when life takes an unexpected turn we tend to not know what to do and it takes a negative toll on us and our families. 

But there is something we can do!

We can prepare. Family crisis can do one of three things. 1. Pull a family apart 2. Family relations stay the same (unlikely) 3. Brings the family closer together. The 3rd option is of course what we want. But how do we achieve that? Do we wait for the crisis to happen and then just hope things turn out for the best? No. Preparation starts long before the crisis appears. Here are some ideas to do as a family.

-have family dinner as often as possible (4-5 times/week)

-practice open and honest communication between family members

-serve one another

These are just a few ideas, but there are many more. One thing you could do is discuss with your family, in a family council, how you might be able to strengthen your family ties (immediate and extended) so that you can be better prepared for trials. And then set goals and work on them. Families are important and we don't want to let the natural trials of life tear us apart. Make your family a priority.  

Marriage and Boundaries

Marriage, marriage and more marriage. Its hard for me to relate to all this marriage talk. Something we talked about was how important it is for a married couples to have boundaries with their friends and family. Now, i'm not married, but i am the friend and family to a lot married people. 3 of my best friends are married and all 7 of my siblings are married. Something that i took away from class this week is that i need to be supportive of my married friends and family and not pry into their personal lives. Also i need to encourage them to not gossip or vent to me about their spouses. 

When married people vent to their friends about their spouses it just builds the problem and makes it bigger. The friends start to think badly about the person, and also the person venting starts to exaggerate and make things sound worse then things actually are. 

Sometimes it seems hard to create boundaries with our married friends, but for their sake it is very important. If we truly love our friends we will make sure to support them and encourage them to work out any marriage problems with their spouse and maybe with their family if necessary.